Vince Alpaca-Blend Crewneck Sweater – Size S/P – NWT – MSRP $445

This is not just any sweater — it’s the sweater the internet couldn’t find. Seriously. I tried every trick in the book: style number, UPC, even detective-level Google searches… nada. Which means you could be the only person on Earth (or at least on Poshmark) to own it. Details: Style V044679418, Color 101 OWH (a.k.a. “Elegant Winter Snowball”) 71% alpaca, 23% nylon, 4% wool, 2% spandex — so warm, soft, and slightly stretchy you might forget to take it off until July. Ribbed cuffs, hem, and neckline for that “yes, I paid for quality” look. New with tags, from a Nordstrom return pallet. Appears unworn, but may have been tried on by someone who looked in the mirror and thought, Wow, I look expensive. Why you need it: It’s cozy enough for a snowstorm, chic enough for a latte date. It’s basically a hug… but from Vince. And did I mention it’s un-Googleable? That’s luxury-level rarity. ⚠️ Warning: Wearing this may result in strangers asking, “Where did you get that?” followed by you smugly replying, “Oh… you can’t.”