Measurements: Bust: 44 inches / Length: 27 inches Materials: 100% Polyester Chronicle: A red Apt. 9 tank top was thrilled to show off her school spirit at a college football game, ready to blend right in with the sea of red and gold. She’d imagined herself proudly cheering, maybe catching the eye of the mascot. But from the start, things got messy. First, she took a direct hit from a spilled nacho cheese dip, leaving a bright yellow streak down her front. Then, during an enthusiastic wave, she got stretched by the fan next to her, who tugged on her hem for balance. By halftime, she’d also caught a smear of ketchup from a hot dog and a sprinkle of popcorn crumbs. “I was supposed to be red,” she sighed, now resembling a condiment collage. “Next time, I’m tailgating at home.”