BethS
@sdbeth4
About @sdbeth4
Posher since Jun 2013
Average Ship Time: <1 day
Last Active: This hour
Love Notes
Upon receiving the shorts, I tried them on like a normal person. As I write this laying in my hospital bed, I would like to make it known to my soon to be ex-wife and the neighbor that I have no regrets whatsoever. I stand by my decision to have ordered these shorts and fully accept my fate. Anyway, I tried on the shorts. I wanted to see what they looked like in the sunlight, so I stepped outside my front door. I have big self-esteem issues and think I am one of the ugliest people in the whole world. Once I put these shorts on, I was the baddest mofo on the street, potentially the city. My phone vibrated once I put them on and I got an email saying something about an invitation to be on a show called The Bachelor: Poshmark Purchased Swim Trunks Edition. I ignored it because my new outlook on life will take me above and beyond a silly show like that. I caught my reflection in the window as I walked across my porch while doing my Zoolander runway strut. I was about to take a selfie, but then I heard the sound of glass break. I thought Stone Cold was here to give me a stunner and take the shorts. Nope. It was the neighbor's wife. You know those Axe commercials where women are like OMG You smell good! Let me throw myself at you! It was something similar to that. Anyway, I heard that glass break and see that the neighbor's wife busted through her front window to run over and tell me how sexy I looked. I told her, I put the STD in stud, all I need is U. Her eyes rolled back like a goddamn slot machine and next thing I know, I'm being pulled inside her house. This is all brand new to me so I didn't think to ask when her husband was going to be home. Anyway, he gets home, beats me up and here I am. I have a feeling that these shorts are going to continue to cause chaos for me. For that, I'm excited for what the future holds.
May 26
