Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

<p><b>This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere! It's time for seriously hilarious girl-talk with <i>New York Times</i> bestselling author Lisa Scottoline. </b> <p/>She's shared this collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours . . . if you crave carbs, can't find jeans that fit, and still believe that these two things are unrelated. Pick up this book--you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll swear off pantyhose. Here are some examples of Lisa's wit and wisdom: <br>"Everybody has their pornography, and mine is the real estate ads." <p/>"We'll get universal health care before we get beauty salons open on Mondays, and that's backwards. Ask any woman if she'd rather have a haircut or a mammogram, and you'll see what I mean." <p/>"Mothers are a natural force, and maybe an alternative source of fuel." <p/>"Lately there's been talk about a religion that allows polygamy, so that a man can have as many wives as he pleases. Where is the religion that allows a woman to have as many husbands as she pleases?" <p/>"I have never been in an accident, if you don't count my two marriages." <p/>"My mother taught us that if you eat baked beans from a can that has dents, you'll die of botulism. This was before people injected botulism into their faces. Nowadays, the dented can will kill you, but you'll look young." <p/>Inspired by her wildly popular column in <i>The Philadelphia Inquirer</i> entitled "Chick Wit," <i>Why My Third Husband Wi