VANS HULK SUEDE: Smash Basic Footwear! (LOW-CUT, SIZE 10)

Kermit-meets-Hulk green suede that screams "look at me!" Gum soles bounce like Tigger on espresso. Worn twice: once to buy plants, once to flex at the DMV. Like-new condition - no scuffs ’cause I levitate. Sanitized ’til squeaky. Smoke-free zone. NO LOWBALLS - jealousy isn’t a discount. 🤬 "DM ‘HULK KICKS’! Before I turn green waiting - PRICE FIRMER THAN BRUCE BANNER’S PANTS!"